Not That Girl
by PlzLukePlz
Summary: Hands touch, eyes meet- sudden silence, sudden heat. Hearts leap in a giddy whirl- he could be that boy, but I'm not that girl.
1. Chapter 1

**Hands touch, eyes meet  
Sudden silence, sudden heat **

In one frenzied motion, his hand caught the calloused vinyl handle of my purse. While seconds previously I had been in a rush to leave, I was now jerked wildly back to reality, colliding haphazardly with his rigid chest muscles. The bag split gracefully down a seam, flinging through the doorway. Items sprinkled unevenly over the obsessively clean foyer, like the season's first snowfall. My eyes followed in horror as a single paper fluttered towards his feet. I gaped wide-eyed as my stomach churned uneasily.

"Jude, I'm…" He whispered apologetically, bending over quickly to retrieve the document.

"Wait." I hissed halfheartedly, dropping to my knees and groping blindly towards his shoes. My finger caught the article, as did his. Breath hitched in my throat as our digits brushed. His eyes moved to mine and my mind went numb, sending the signal to relinquish my grip. He brought the expose close to his eyes in the faint darkness. The room was draped in an eerie quiet as he scanned.

**Hearts leap in a giddy whirl  
He could be that boy  
But I'm not that girl: **

My eyes fluttered listlessly upon everything but him, determined to find an escape route. Just as I decided on catapulting through the kitchen sink window, two strong hands grasped my shoulders, pulling forcefully until I was supported by my own two feet.

"Jude, look at me." He commanded.

I scoffed, cocking my wrist in disgust. Seconds later, a rouge burn on his left temple appeared where my hand had berated it. "I don't have to do_ anything_ for you." I hissed. Disregarding the hovel, I bravely stepped across the floor in an attempt to make my way to the door. With a groan, he pushed his way in front, beating me to the door and locking it in triumph.

"We need to talk."

"You need to move before I scream." My eyes grew hot, moistening with every passing moment.

"No, we're going to talk." His voice grew steadily higher, stressing his frustration. "And, we're going to start with why the hell," He paused for dramatic effect, "You would hide this." He brandished the paper, and I swallowed thickly.

"It's not your business." I mumbled, counting the threads in his sweater.

"Don't. Even. Go. There."

Trembling now, I barely managed a retort. "It stopped being your business exactly two years ago, Tom." He squinted at me through the darkness, so I elaborated. "Why are you even standing here, with _me_ right now?"

Moving away from the door, he tentatively began to approach. "You know exactly why."

I gasped, blinking at him in disbelief. "No, pray tell. Enlighten me." Menace dripped from my barely audible undertone.

I blinked.

Next second, I was pinned against a bare wall, a pair of bent legs chaining my flailing stems. His fingers lazily intertwined with mine, and he brought one of my hands to rest on his slackened bottom lip.

His humid breath tickled against my frigid fingers as he sighed. "I'm in love with you, that's why."

I tilted my head to the side, scrutinizing him thoroughly. My throat itched to bellow that he was on something, that he didn't really mean it. But, no sound uttered past my lips, no objection to this sin we were engaging in.

His lips brushed mine for one feverish millisecond. My body seemed to be lost in the moment, but my mind commanded sanity. It didn't take long for the two forces to find a balance. I skillfully pushed his chest authoritatively, catching him off guard. He stumbled backwards, slipping on a stray tube of lipstick.

**Don't dream too far  
Don't lose sight of who you are  
**

"Jude." He pleaded softly. No other words passed his lips as he climbed shakily to his feet. He merely plastered me with a hard, emotion filled stare.

"Stop." My voice cracked as I ran a hand through my hair. "Stop using my name as if you own me. Stop believing that every time you touch me, I'll disregard the fact that I'm only second best. And stop making me **want** to be your one and only until death do us part, and all that other absolute bull!"

For a moment, I thought he was going to reprimand me for my outburst, warn me that **she **might overhear. But, his features remained stoic. He watched me, radiating an expression of confusion. "It's not bull." He mumbled finally.

I scoffed, unbelieving. "How can you say that? Do you have no shame?" He hung his head guiltily, nodding slightly. For a moment, empathy filled me. I felt bad for this situation he was pressed with. But, needless to say, the emotion didn't last.

"I never wanted to marry her." He stated dejectedly, turning his back to me. He paced down the hallway, turning on his heel abruptly, paused at a doorway. I remained stationary.

* * *

Not That Girl is a song from the musical Wicked. This is a fewshot I promised to one of my very best friends about a year ago, and am just now getting around to almost, kind of being close to finished with it. It's my baby. I hope you all enjoy, and I expect there to be about three more posts after this!

Review now, you here! Feed my muse, and I may just give you another installment sooner.

3Ty


	2. Chapter 2

**Don't remember that rush of joy  
He could be that boy  
I'm not that girl  
**  
He pleaded me to follow his lead, and strangely enough, I acquiesced. I trailed his footsteps, finding myself in an elegant living room. He had already taken a place on the couch. Still filled with light animosity, I chose to sit on a less comfortable chair. After taking a deep breath, I spoke. "Whether or not you approve of your marriage doesn't change the fact that it's valid, Tommy."

He raised a hand to his mouth, cascading it there. I observed the way his body was trembling slightly. Swallowing, I prayed for guidance.

"If I could take it back I would." He stated lamely.

"What, marrying her? Or **using** me to cheat on her?" My explosion was cold, adding to the tension building so ominously within the small room.

His gaze was soft. "You know as well as I do that it was not like that." His voice wavered. He seemed on the brink of tears.

"Then how was it?" I spat vehemently, the stiff fabric of the chair suddenly burning my skin. I leapt up and in an instant began to pace the expensive carpet of the extremely narrow room. I felt his eyes follow my every footstep, but he remained silent. This outraged my already much tormented being. "How did you think this would end?"

A strangled sob escaped his lips at this question. He bowed his head, shaking it softly. Strangely, his pain mirrored the sensation that was beginning to build in the pit of my own stomach. "There's no such thing as a happy ending, baby." My voice was unrecognizable from the previous outburst. It gave off the air of a mother comforting her boo-boo laden child, timid and soothing. The unwarranted change in misdemeanor disgusted me.

**Ev'ry so often we long to steal  
To the land of what-might-have-been **

I sunk to my knees, cradling them to my chest. I squatted there mere feet from his shaking body, for what seemed an eternity. I barely noticed when his weight shifted from the couch and he sunk to my level on the floor, wringing his hands halfheartedly.

He cleared his throat, and finally broke the ensuing silence. "Do you love me?" I moved my gaze from my bare kneecaps to his face as a symbol of respect he neither deserved nor commanded, and nodded truthfully. His expression remained stoic, and he began to lean in until the tip of his nose barely brushed mine. I wanted so badly to pull away, forever shatter the moment. I wanted to tell him it was over, walk out the door and never have to feel anything for this man ever again. But sadly, none of that was at all possible at present.

"Then run away with me." He breathed softly. "Be my one and only, 'til death do us part." His body shook with the air of a nervous schoolboy as he reached blindly for my hand. Securing it, he began to kiss my fingertips lovingly, never taking his eyes from mine. My heart fluttered at an alarming rapidity as my eyes shut slowly in elation. I opened my mouth to object, but no sound uttered from their depths. Five more minutes, my mind screamed. Just five more minutes of sinful naivety, and then I would be forced to shuttle back to reality.

"I want you…all of you, now and forever." His voice tickled my fingertips, and a soft smile brushed my lips. "Please." He emphasized. At that request, the tension reached an unfathomable level. Succumbing to what we both wanted, I crashed my lips upon his, leaning forward so that he lost his balance. We rocketed backwards and landed in a haphazard heap on the carpet, holding on to each other for dear life. I toyed with his collar feverishly as he brought both hands to my cheeks, stroking them ever so languidly.

**But that doesn't soften the ache we feel  
When reality sets back in**

Suddenly, I became aware of a sharp pain in my lower right earlobe. Wincing in disgust, I attempted to pull away, only to experience more discomfort. It seemed that his hand was caught on one of the simple diamond stud I always donned, a gift from the devil himself. He feverishly struggled to separate us, finally succeeding and bringing his hand back to my line of vision. When I observed what had caused the predicament, however, my heart sunk.

A thick golden band decorated Tom Quincy's left ring finger.

Realization hit his features immediately, and he removed it, stowing it in his jean pocket. I shook my head numbly. "Don't bother."

I held his gaze for mere seconds before standing gracefully. "Goodbye Tommy."

Turning on my heel, I made my way back into the foyer, determined to put as much distance as possible between myself and the person whose feeble pleas of forgiveness would discontinue affecting me. I was immune, and this was finally over.

My hand closed firmly around the door knob, and I became vaguely aware of my name being called. However, the door was half open before I realized it was woman's voice that had spoken. Sighing in frustration, I relinquished my grip, allowing the portal to close. Turning on my heel, I smiled as faintly as was possible in the current situation, meeting my sister's confused gaze.

**Blithe smile, lithe limb  
She who's winsome, she wins him **

"You're here early." She stated cheerfully, embracing me lovingly.

I remained stiff, but attempted to answer with the same degree of affection. "I had to drop off some paperwork." I lied quickly, pulling at my blouse self-consciously. I watched in relief as she nodded understandingly.

"We didn't want to wake you, darling."

Sadie turned towards the direction of his voice, grinning stupidly as he emerged from the shadows. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he placed a chaste kiss upon her lips. After greeting, the couple turned their attention towards me once more. His arm remained latched protectively around her midriff, however. I felt sick.

**Gold hair with a gentle curl  
That's the girl he chose**

"I feel like we've barely seen each other these last few weeks. With you and Tommy spending all these late nights in the studio, I've almost forgotten what both of you look like." She chuckled softly, mussing her hair slightly.

A poignant silence ensued, during which I smiled awkwardly. "I'm sorry for waking you." I muttered softly.

"Oh, don't worry about it. I'm actually glad you're here, because I was meaning to call you today. We," she gesticulated between herself and Tommy, "have news."

Sadie was grinning so widely that I felt like smacking her. Tommy, on the other hand, looked sick. "Don't." His voice was barely audible, hoarse and pleading.

"Don't be silly sweetie." Sadie's attention turned to me, her skin glowing despite the earliness of the hour. The silk nightgown she wore hung beautifully on her delicate curves. "He listened too much to the doctor when she told us couples don't typically make their pregnancies known until the second trimester."

**And Heaven knows  
I'm not that girl**


	3. Chapter 3

**And Heaven knows  
I'm not that girl**

I could barely breathe. The room was spinning, and I wanted to get out. Sadie was watching me expectantly, her hands resting on the non-existent bump above her abdomen. Tommy was staring at a point just above my left shoulder. And although I was in a room with the two people that meant the most to me in the world, I had never felt so alone.

"Congratulations." I heard myself saying.

Sadie's smile widened, and I felt a slight twinge from within the pit of stomach. Her eyes glistened as a single tear cascaded down her cheek. "I'm so glad you feel that way."

I nodded, my expression remaining blank. Glancing heavenward, I silently prayed for the strength to follow through on what I knew I must do.

"I was hoping to get the chance to tell you the same thing." My voice was soft, and even I could barely hear it radiating from the depths of my throat. However, the comment was not directed towards Sadie.

**Don't wish, don't start  
Wishing only wounds the heart**

My sister's eyes grew wider than I'd ever seen them. If the situation hadn't been so painfully morose, I might have laughed. "Jude…" She mumbled, unable to string words together in her befuddlement. "But… you're not dating anyone, are you? Who's the father?"

I felt his gaze hot upon my face, so I stared intently at my shoes as I often resorted to in discomfort. "It doesn't matter. He's not in the picture." I muttered, my eyes tearing at the edges. I looked up slowly, only to be embraced lovingly by a frazzled Sadie.

"Oh Jude." She said soothingly, massaging circles into the small of my back much like mother would do for her child. The tears began to fall with an increasing rapidity, and before I knew it, I was sobbing unashamedly into my sister's shoulder while my unborn child's father stood awkwardly in the background.

"Jude." She repeated, my name echoing throughout the silent apartment. "It's alright. You're going to be fine." I lifted my head, sniffling as I blinked in acknowledgement. Over her shoulder, I caught Tommy's attention. His eyes were moist as well, I observed. "And this guy? He's not worth your tears."

**I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl  
There's a girl I know **

**He loves her so****  
**

Tommy blinked, and a single teardrop cascaded down his perfectly constructed cheek, slowing slightly as it traveled through his five-o'clock shadow. As it reached the outline of his jawbone, it fell, crashing in a helpless puddle on the oak floor.

And in that moment, it was clear to me.

"You're right."

**I'm not that girl**


End file.
